Space is Self Care

Space is Self Care

A few months ago, I was driving in the car with the girls and Kennedy was reminding me of how she stayed with her grandma while I was in the hospital giving birth to Kendall.

I asked her if it was fun and asked if she would like to do it again. She replied "Yes!". I then jokingly said " Great! You can take Daddy and Kendall too!". And with all the seriousness in the world, Kennedy asked "Why Mommy, do you need space?". 

If you know my family's new dynamic, my life partner has recently become a paraplegic, I have a 4 1/2 year old (Kennedy) and a 2 year old (Kendall). Life now consists of me being everything to everyone on top of "normal" duties of a Mom and Wife/Partner. 

The question took me by surprise and made me laugh, but immediately I said no, in fear that she would feel like a burden. The minute the word slipped from my lips, I felt guilty. It was a lie and I was not practicing what we've been teaching her. 

We encourage Kennedy to express her feelings when she feels it. To be open and honest and forthcoming. We encourage her to tell us and anyone for that matter when she is not feeling her best and needs space. Space to identify her feelings. Space to acknowledge her emotions. Space to regulate. Her space. And we teach her to request it, un-apologetically

In hopes to redeem myself, I responded again and said " Yes, sometimes Mommy does need space. Sometimes I need space to do some breathing (we do breathing exercises at home), to spend time enjoying my own company, and to recharge so that I can be the best I can be for myself and for you guys". 


Self care is described as the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one's own health. This word or phrase is associated with images of spa days, hair and nail appointments, facials, girls trips, girls night out, etc. 

As Mama's, God knows these are things that we desperately need. But for many, these are luxuries. They certainly are for me these days. That's not to say, don't plan for them, but I challenge you to take action now for the space you need. 

"Space" for you could mean turning your cell phone off after a scheduled time, hiding in the bathroom or closet (my favorite place. haha), sit in the car listen to music (yup I've done this one too), or just sit in the car in silence if the kids have fallen asleep on the car ride home (very specific and another favorite), set a timer for when all household duties end, even if you haven't completed them!, take a bubble bath and have a glass or two or three after the kids have gone to bed, take quick moments of space with prayer throughout a tough day.

I could go on and on but the message is clear. Give yourself space. Teach your little ones the importance of space. Lay the foundation of self care by being the example.

xoxo, Mama

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